Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Paul Krempe: "The Curse of Frankenstein"

Actor:            Robert Urquhart
Year:             1957
Beard Type:   Scientist Beard, Montage Beard

One of the most popular beards here on MovieBeards.com belongs to the face of the Italian Stallion in Rocky IV. To train extra hard, Rocky Balboa grew the oh-so-rare Montage Beard; what was likely grown to represent one's badassery gained from dragging trucks through the snow (or to simply act against the bitter Russian winds) also served as a reference of time over two snow-covered training montages.

Finding a Montage Beard is rare indeed. It's like getting hit in the face by Halley's Comet twice in a lifetime. Lucky for you, I would never let that happen to you because you are my friend.

Also, I found another Montage Beard.

In 1957, Hammer Film Productions released the first of many amazing films in their "Hammer Horror" series, in which they created fresh, interesting takes on old classics such as Frankenstein, Dracula, and the Mummy. It's like the Platinum Dune films we get today except...you know...good. This first film, The Curse of Frankenstein, introduces the audience to young Baron Victor Frankenstein, who inherits the family fortune upon his father's death. Frankenstein's eager desire to ultimately become a raving mad scientist led him to hire a beardless Paul Krempe as his personal tutor. 

Krempe teaches Frankenstein through a montage narrated by the legendary Peter Cushing, who plays old dude Frankenstein. Throughout the montage, Krempe goes from clean-shaven to moustachioed to full-bearded to let us know that a significant amount of time (i.e. decades) has passed, just in case you hadn't realized that his young student morphed into old Peter Cushing in a couple of minutes. This beard also doubles as a Scientist Beard, as Krempe and Frankenstein conduct numerous experiments that result in the successful re-animation of a dead puppy dog. 

This is an interesting duo in that the mad scientist is not the one to whom the Scientist Beard belongs. The mad scientist is actually created by a Scientist Beard. In essence, the horrors unleashed by Frankenstein's monster (played by the still-ticking Christopher Lee) are a direct result of Krempe's Scientist Beard. His bearded teachings allowed Frankenstein to gain a maniacal obsession for building the perfect living specimen from a bunch of dead people parts. Sadly, Victor Frankenstein felt that the perfect human specimen would not have a beard because he's a fucking nincompoop.

As this obsession grew during the montage, so did the beard of Paul Krempe.

Much like a beard, a well-maintained obsession can remain reasonable, fun and attractive to the ladies. However, when that obsession/beard grows out of control, it can prove problematic for you and your loved ones. Just ask Jack Shephard. Krempe's beard was well-maintained, thus he was able to practice common morality when faced with Frankenstein's metaphorical out-of-control beard of obsession and curiosity.

If you learn anything today, let it be this: while teaching someone about dead stuff, don't grow a beard in the middle of your montage, or else your student will get all fucked in the head and blame your beard. While it takes a lunatic to create a monster, it also takes a beard to create that lunatic to create that monster.

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